For years I searched for love, only to fail dismally. Alone at 49, I vowed not to give up. Online one day I discovered the women of the Craigslist.
My first online relationship was with Lizzie, a nice Italian girl from Manhattan. She was a writer and her emails had a lyrical beauty to them. On our second date she drank too much and had a mini breakdown, ripping the shirt completely off my body. Leaving Manhattan on a Friday night shirtless is interesting. You'd be surprised how suspicious the police are when a naked man pulls up next to them at the light.
The next girl, Carol, was a lawyer. Our emails and phone calls were great. She picked the time and place of our first date only to cancel a few hours before...too much going on. She then became unavailable until one Sunday when she emailed to ask that, if I didn't mind the short notice, would I meet her downtown in an hour for coffee. Clever and smart, at first she seemed perfect. Eventually though, she began making mildly offensive offhand comments covering the racial and national gamut. Nothing she said was outright bigotry. Still, as an Italian with a half Korean son and an African American, bisexual, best friend living with her lesbian lover, it made me go...hmmm. Uncomfortable, I absentmindedly played with the sugar packets on the table. She slapped my hand and removed the bowl from within my reach...too annoying.
Mary's photo looked suspiciously like a man in a dress. I'm glad that didn't go past picture exchange or this would be an entirely different story.
Nicole, an African American money manager from Brooklyn, was the worst yet with emails. Bad on the phone as well, she seemed disconnected, almost sad. She said I could select the restaurant. I picked popular places in and around New York City. She lived in Park Slope and suggested I chose a place closer to her home. Which, I did. She had somewhere else in mind...we compromised and went to the place of her choice. Dinner was great; she was beautiful, charming, funny and intelligent. A pleasure to be with, I really liked her. She called me the next day and asked that, if I didn't mind the short notice, could we go out again that evening. I said hell yes. I bought a dozen roses on the way. As I exited the BQE, she called and canceled. On the way back to the Bronx, I hit a ditch masquerading as a puddle, cracking my water pump. Fixing my car cost $400. My mechanic loved the roses...he still calls. She phoned the next afternoon asking that, if I didn't mind the short notice, would I like to see her that night. Again it was wonderful. I sent an email the next day and she didn't respond. I called the day after, again no response. I called once more; she returned my call the following afternoon. "Hi Bill, can't talk, going into the bank, call you tonight." I haven't heard from her since.
Craigslist has been an enigma. I know what I am looking for, my last girlfriend, not the last one I had; the last one I will ever have. I could keep busy, cry in my beer, and pretend not to miss love. Many live that way. But, I will not give up. Life is not meant to be lived alone. I just hope that none of these girls are violent.
